Be kind....
....for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle. This has never seemed more true to me than after my first round of conferences last night. I had a student whose mom had been out of town and we got out of school at 1:00, but despite mom calling grandpas and grandmas, no one showed up to get him until his baby-sitter popped in at about 2:05. Well, there's a law that says if you leave your child 'X' amount of time after school without picking them up, the police can be called and the family can be charged with child abandonment. I knew I had to tell her about this when she came in for her conference later, because elementary school wouldn't be as patient with a child left over an hour after school.
When she came in Wednesday evening she just looked like life was taking it's toll on her. We talked for a couple of minutes about her son and his change in behavior at school (they just moved back from living in Kansas City for a month) and then I asked her how everything was going since they had come back to Des Moines- and she broke down. She went on about several things, having to work out of town 3-4 days at a time, earning money in a way that most women would have a very difficult time doing. Her child's father refusing to have anything to do with them or help her out by picking him up from school, living with her mother who has bi-polar disorder, she and her two kids all sleeping in one small bed until she can make enough money to get a place of their own. "I never thought my life would turn out this way, it's hard because you don't think about how little choices you make will affect your future." It broke my heart.
It made me realize that I am so blessed. I have a place to live, a college education, a great job where I work with equally wonderful people that I'm not afraid would ever try to "fight me" for ANY reason. I have a husband who loves me, a family that would do anything for me, friends who are just like family to me, and when we have children- Jerod will be right there to help raise them and he will be a fantastic father.
Sometimes I forget why I teach where I do. Teaching children from low-income families is not for everyone. It's stressful and frustrating because many times you encounter families who just don't seem to understand how a lack of routine and a lack of consistent parenting affects their child's performance in school and in life. It is so difficult to accept that, in almost all cases, these families are doing the best they can do with the resources that they have. All of my students have health care, at least through Title 19, they have roofs over their heads, and they have someone bringing them to school- a place where they can get love if they aren't getting it at home.
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.
